The Onion nails it.
Here’s the news story (The Sun, UK)
It’s another shocker: a guy who handles pythons all the time and keeps them as pets–oops–let one get out of the cage while he was sleeping.
Live and learn.
The real story tracks an Onion video, which is incredibly well done. Totally straight face.
It’s the perfect parody of every “empathetic” morning show–the unctuous, clueless hosts, the tearful family, and especially the ludicrous idea that “nobody could have prevented this.”
“You can’t think like that! It’s not your fault!”
According to the Onion, Mrs. Clinton said American voters were clearly to blame.
“I’m not suggesting it’s entirely your fault, but, let’s be frank, 99 percent of it is,” read one passage from the chapter entitled “Seriously, What Were You Thinking?” in which the former candidate conceded missteps she had made over the course of her campaign while also clarifying that none of them should have produced the final election outcome, which she characterized as “squarely on you fucking people.”
“Indeed, fake news and Russian meddling played a part, and I’ve acknowledged I wasn’t the perfect candidate, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that the majority of the blame—all but the tiniest sliver—lies with you, the idiot voters.
You really blew it, dumbasses. Bravo!”
–Hillary Clinton, as quoted in The Onion
Yesterday, as news about the Charlottesville killing and rioting was breaking, I recommended taking a break from the incessant nattering of cable TV.
The all-important ratio of agita/information is too high.
Instead, get your news updates from websites like Associated Press or the cable channels’ own web sites. (ZipDialog post here.)
The Onion has a related comment on the torrent of scary stories.
As regular ZD readers know, I consider the Onion to be America’s Most Trusted News Source.
71 lost ‘fireworks dogs’ at San Diego shelters (San Diego Union-Tribune)
Dozens of scared or disoriented dogs left their homes during or soon after Tuesday’s Fourth of July fireworks and they are still waiting for owners to retrieve them from San Diego County animal shelters. –San Diego Union-Tribune
Beneath the dead-on parody lies a serious point or two or three, beginning with the relationship between this kind of academic thinking and privileged men like the speaker.
Trump Voter Feels Betrayed By President After Reading 800 Pages Of Queer Feminist Theory pic.twitter.com/TZX9uaANRc
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 2, 2017