Story here. But, really, the picture says it all.
This heart-warming story is from the Sacramento Bee (link here)
Notice that the 911 call came from the perp himself, unhappily caught mid-chimney.
His picture, with the soot on his nose, is perfect.
My prediction: His will not be an easy prison sentence. I expect some mockery.
Here’s the link, with a brief video. (Below is a screen shot)
It’s a real-life variant of the classic news-anchor line, “I’m not wearing any pants. Film at 11.”
She wasn’t. And there was film, albeit censored.
To coin a phrase:
He [claimed he] was from the year 2048.
The man told police that he wanted to warn the people of Casper [Wyoming] that aliens will arrive next year, and that they should leave as soon as possible. ….
The man told police he was only able to time travel because aliens filled his body with alcohol. He noted that he was supposed to be transported to the year 2018, not this year. –Associated Press
Since I have extensive connections with the constabulary, I was able to secure a photograph of the defendant.
Articles chosen with care. Your comments welcomed.
Linked articles in bold purple
Could cut up to 1/3 of the state’s meager $3 billion export revenue.
Nikki Haley, America’s ambassador to the UN, offered a weary, pessimistic assessment:
We should not fool ourselves into thinking we have solved the problem. Not even close. The North Korean threat has not left us, it is rapidly growing more dangerous. –Amb. Nikki Haley to UN Security Council
Meanwhile, China and Russia sharply criticized US deployment of anti-missile systems in South Korea.
Related Story: US tells China it will be watching closely to see if Beijing actually executes the promised sanctions (Associated Press)
Comment: This will only get more dangerous.
◆ Administration leakers should not be hard to catch, says Washington Post.
The headline news has been Attorney General Jeff Sessions stepping up the number of investigations and saying that journalists who receive classified information should not be immune if lives are endangered (a questionable argument, in light of Supreme Court precedents).
The Post, citing cyber-security experts, lists four steps in the investigations:
Comment: The key thing to notice about these leaks is that they are not whistle-blower leaks, designed to expose wrongdoing. They are designed either to damage the President or his administration or, alternatively, to win internal battles over policy. Neither is tolerable when the information is classified. The damage to the country should be obvious.
Barrio-18 was founded in Los Angeles and has now spread across the US, Canada, Mexico, and Central America. It has “an estimated 30,000 to 50,000 members across 20 US states and is linked to drugs, murder, kidnappings and other violent crime from Central America to Canada.”
Comment: Such a carefully thought-out plan, too. Where did he trip up?
◆ Anthony Thomas is an impressive co-winner of “perp of the day” (New York Daily News)
Comment: “Does this mean I don’t get the job?”
Usually, articles like this conclude with the immortal phrase, “Authorities believe alcohol was involved.”
Our hero apparently uses other substances.
Deputies ran the passenger’s ID and learned that he was wanted on a controlled substance warrant, news station KARE reported.
When they searched his person, officers found the ace up his sleeve: the Monopoly card.
The resourceful suspect told officers that he kept the board game card handy “just in case.”
Unfortunately for him, police did not accept his Monopoly card and took him to an actual jail. —Fox News, link here
The headline in the Kansas City paper:
After the teller gave [Lawrence John] Ripple $2,924, Ripple sat down in the bank lobby to wait for police, and later told authorities that he had written out a robbery note in front of his wife and told her he would rather be in jail than at home. –Kansas City Star
Hat tip to my son, Michael.
This is more than a hat tip. To raise a son who sees that story and immediately thinks, “My Dad is going to love this…” well, that is concrete evidence of some fine parenting skills around my house.